Chloe's House Of Passion

2011-09-29T11:20:00.000-07:00

Seriously, stop touching my shit.

2011-04-10T20:41:00.001-07:00

Can't Stop Laughing

2011-02-01T20:19:00.000-08:00

This blog post was funny enough to actually hyperlink it the correct way. I am truly honestly surprised my neighbors have not called the cops from my extended amounts of howling with laughter at 10:30 at night.

Exhibitionist! Yes! That's the word I was looking for.

2011-01-27T13:26:00.000-08:00

http://www.aolnews.com/2011/01/27/breast-feeding-canadian-moms-create-flash-mob-at-mall/?test=latestnews

I am a mother who nursed her baby. I will nurse any other children I happen to have. But I refuse to do so in public. Perhaps I am just old fashioned that way, but I prefer to not be exposed to strangers, no matter what the reason. I even throw a blanket over my shoulder in front of women that I am related to. Yes, I agree, it is a great idea, gives the baby innumerable benefits and head starts. But I feel that it is still something that shouldn't be done in front of God and everybody, especially with all the sick fucks on the internet with a pregnancy/breast milk/nursing fantasy. Those people are real, you know, and eventually find their way to places with other people..like malls and restaurants and whatever. Yeah, it IS their problem and, no , I don't expect to be attacked and molested in a crowd but I do prefer to give these retards the least amount of ammunition to go home and beat off to a fantasy involving my newborn.

Fine, ok...If you want to undress yourself when you are feeding your kid, everyone should have that right. When I take Boyo to McDonald's for a hamburger and fries then I can just tug one side down and sit out his meal time with my nipple pointing at the old couple in the other corner. Or! When a guy goes to feed his baby he can just clothespin half of his shirt up and have his hairy man boob soaking up the atmosphere. What? We are feeding our kids. Step off with your judgemental attitude.

In this day and age there is no reason to whip out a breast and let your baby go to town for the entertainment of everyone in the food court. There are plenty of ways to get that milk out of you and into a bottle for those emergency times when you just can't drag yourself away from the sale racks at Nordstrom's to care for your offspring. Same natural benefits, less whining from the hippie jerks who want one more reason to demonize everyone with sensibilities.

"Its natural and beautiful!"- Oh yes, quite natural. Just as natural as peeing and pooping and having sex and antelopes being eaten by cheetahs. But you wouldn't want any of that happening at the next table over at The Olive Garden.

"Jesus was breast fed!" - Yeah? Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus. How about you? No? Huh.. Women in Jesus's time were also stoned for adultery but that's "barbaric" now. Oh, and those women HAD NO CHOICE. It was feed your baby or let it starve. No bottles, no breast pumps, no storage systems with handy lines to put the date on. Let's leave the "but Jesus" comparisons out of arguments from now on unless you feel like converting to Judaism, covering your hair and staying home to cook and clean and bear children uncontrollably.

Why does this topic seem to be fought by upper middle class soccer moms with enough spare time to hop in their Suburbans and drive down to the mall for the afternoon. I don't think its so much they want the right to spend, what, 9 months feeding their kid in the most uncomfortable way possible for everyone but that they really need a hobby. Seriously, I get it. You went to college, got your liberal education, worked for a bit and now suddenly you are sitting at home with a wobbly little drool box and watching Baby Einstein videos all day while you slowly get too fat for your highschool cheerleading uniform. You're bored, restless, cut off. Sister, I feel your pain but please find something else to make you feel relevant.

eff you, hippies!

2011-01-18T03:32:00.001-08:00

see more Engrish

Desmond Takes A Trolley To The Jeweller's Store

2011-01-02T15:04:00.000-08:00

No lacy dress, no bouquet of flowers, no tiara, flower girl, veil or anything even slightly resembling a "real" wedding. But there was a shiny gold ring, my handsome son and the love of my life. It was perfect.:)

My Cat Ate Tuna Then Sneezed On Me

2011-01-02T14:51:00.000-08:00

I regularly read a list website called 11points.com (because top 10 lists are for cowards)and, obviously, enjoy it a lot because I keep going back. This list made me giggle, like the others, until I got to this quote:

"Nothing makes the "Call of Duty" experience complete like having a jackass 14-year-old shouting "Jew fag towelhead darkie tits" into his XBox Live microphone for an hour straight while you're trying to make a legitimate battle strategy."

..and spit chewed up Oreo all over my desk. To be honest, the racial slurs just made me nod my head in agreement. Those gamers can be REALLY stupid. But the addition of "tits" was what really tickled me. Don't ask. You should know I've got issues already.

http://www.11points.com/Web-Tech/11_Deep_Questions_About_Judaism_From_the_Geniuses_at_Yahoo_Answers

Coolest fucking relative EVER

2010-12-31T12:02:00.000-08:00

Aunt: I have no idea, sometimes I wonder if it is me that is the crazy one

Me: you seem pretty normal to me

Aunt: well thank you

Me: i swear to god tho, you show up on my doorstep with a headless chicken and some hobo's heart i am totally disowning you
:)

Aunt: well there goes my surprise

Me: right after i help you hide the body..
sorry!
:(
i'll pretend i didnt see

Aunt: I'll come up with another one

Me: fair enough! do you still want to hide the body or just forget about it?

Aunt: I could show up with a cheesecake in hand

Me: cheesecake is good:)

Aunt: if I only have the heart i have probably already hidden the rest, just need to dispose of the heart

Christmas Story

2010-12-31T08:13:00.000-08:00

I know its a little late but I had this on my facebook for a while and can't get enough of it.

"They called the baby Jesus and they loved him."

In The Beginning

2010-12-26T23:34:00.000-08:00

Obviously a little pre-planning had to go into this whole marriage issue and the first thing that we needed was a marriage license. We had to provide proof of rabies vaccinations and, in the mister's case, a note from the vet proving he is neutered. God knows no one wanted him to drop his drawers in the middle of a government office...well..MAYBE the clerk who helped us would have.
I'll tell you..in most social situations I can tell if someone is being snarky or trying to snub me. This time, however, it was a complete mystery to me where the guy was coming from. He kept trying to chat the mister up about their shared military service and, honestly, I have had less uncomfortable conversations about my time in with a couple of Air Force guys and a Girl Scout. I couldn't tell if he was trying to reaffirm his manhood or if he was looking for a way to ask "the groom" out on a date. Yes, the mister was unfailingly referred to as "the groom" and I was referred to as "...and...you". Not "the bride", or Dread Pirate..just "...you" with the short pause before the word. I think perhaps the ex-wife doesn't look down on me with as much disdain as this odd little clerk.
So, yeah...lol..

2010-12-21T22:19:00.000-08:00

see more Very Demotivational

Pardon The Interruption

2010-12-19T15:07:00.000-08:00

Princess Bride - The Wedding - The best video clips are right here

Ok, ok. I know I am perpetually terrible at having huge gaps in my posting. But I have a perfectly good reason this time, I promise! As the video suggests, yes, I finally found a cave-man to drag me off to the altar.

What can I say? The unnamed significant other and I ran off and eloped. We even had the "shortened version" ceremony in which the very sweet and patient judge put up with me being so nervous that I was whispering at the end and then managed to put his ring on the wrong hand. I gave him the correct hand and was so jittery that I couldn't work out in my head which hand of his I needed. I am just happy that it was my husband's hand that I put the ring on and not some passing stranger's.

The ceremony itself was very short but the wait for it was about 2 hours and there were about 25 other couples. We were number 11 and number 10 was an adorable tiny little set of his and hers vintage 1940's cake toppers. He was in his fancy little navy uniform and she was wearing this adorable polka-dot dress and had a big silk flower clipped into her hair. The groom was maybe an inch or two taller than me and I was towering over the bride, even tho she was in heels. Too cute! I wanted to stick them in my purse to use when I have a proper wedding reception.

I would like to post pics of the actual ceremony (compliments of the husband's fantastically patient mother) but I look shocked and terrified in all of them and he just looks dignified and gorgeous, asshole.

Anyhow, so that's it for now, lol. I will definitely post more of the story of the last few weeks intermittently to tease the husband.

Fucked Up Bitch

2010-11-29T17:02:00.000-08:00

*WARNING*
(And for the record, before any of the rest of my comments, I do not believe for a second being a Mormon has ANYTHING to do with this woman's behavior. If anything, it is the exact opposite of any family interaction I have seen in any Mormon home and that is what makes it so exceptionally shocking to me.)

For serious, folks, don't watch this video if you have any kind of tender heart..I was bawling by about a minute in...

I admit, I am pretty hard on Boyo. Conversations about letters home usually use the same tone and phrasing but I would DIE if I ever did this to my child. What a soulless bitch. Holy shit...Who could make their child cry like that?

For srs?

2010-11-19T08:36:00.000-08:00

My bf wants to caress me up my nose...The fuck???? Is this some kind of freaky European thing?

OMG I am SOOOO Lucky

2010-11-15T10:11:00.001-08:00

No, really, I am. I am so grateful that my SO tells me he loves me. I am such a blessed girl for having a bf that will admit that he cares for me more than once a week. Good golly, how ever did I live in the emotional wasteland that was my life before him. Thank god he tells me he loves me.

Foot In Mouth Disease

2010-11-11T14:24:00.000-08:00

My new SO (we are still deciding on a nick, be patient) is a much more motivated person than I am in the "being a useful member of society" arena. He has a job that includes delegation, decision making, damage control, diplomacy..a whole bunch of "d" words that all add up to him being the one that people go to when they need to complain about something. This complaining thing happens often, of course, its human nature. I'm not sure he realizes yet that half the giggling I do when he has to doctor up the skinned knees is because of the look I imagine on his face while he's doing it. I fully expect that its the same exact look that my own long-suffering manager gets when I start my whining and moaning and trying to get out of work.
Today I wanted to email him and make a joke about him being part of the scum-sucking bourgeoisie and I was the enlightened and oppressed proletariat but as I carefully sifted the joke through the social filters in my mind, I realized that I have NO idea what kind of reaction that would bring down on my pretty head.
As an American, I feel comfortable with the casual slinging about of tags and titles. I have a pretty set repertoire that I fall back on and often Abby and I would get pretty vicious with the "dirty hippie" and "scary ruskie" insults . (BTW, jackhole, COMMIE! No punch back.) I realized I am going to have to revisit this bad habit of mine. Sure I could keep mouthing off, but do I REALLY know what it means or am I just setting myself up to be schooled in a VERY embarrassing fashion? (Yeah, the answer is "no". Thanks.)

Its better in person

2010-11-07T22:08:00.000-08:00

*sounds of rolling chair on steel plate floor*

me: wow..you guys sure do make a lot of noise.

him: yeah we do! We live together and WE JUST FINISHED FIXING THE GENERATOR!!

guy in background: WHAT?!!??!! WHAT???!!!??

me: *roflcopter*

*two more people clomp in*

The ensuing conversation sounds like 3 Joe Pesci clones arguing over the best place to eat.

Very Informative

2010-11-07T14:17:00.001-08:00

juxtaposition..its good for convos, too!

2010-11-05T11:09:00.000-07:00

Me: what town is your house in?

Him: dont know yet.

Me: LOL

that was awesome
i love you

Him: *facepalm* wherever it comes down when you click your red slippers Dorothy....

HA! Cheetahs..I get it...lollernanas

2010-11-05T03:32:00.001-07:00

see more So Much Pun

Another Star Wars Halloween...

2010-10-31T17:49:00.000-07:00

Just For Fun

2010-10-29T20:08:00.000-07:00

Who was the guy who was standing around with the guys who design helicopters and said "Well, sure, the speed, versatility and flaming rockets of doom are NICE and all.. but do they have to be so, you know..*sideways chopping motion with his hand*..horizontal?

Give Me!

2010-10-18T06:17:00.000-07:00

One Ton REALLY likes to play with light. We have a standing appointment to meet in the room and play with the sunlight reflecting from my iPhone every morning. Woe to us all if it is a cloudy day.

2010-10-17T22:15:00.001-07:00

HAHAHAHA!!!!

2010-10-17T09:13:00.000-07:00

see more funny videos

2010-10-11T09:24:00.001-07:00

see more Political Pictures

WTF???!!?? I'm 14!

2010-10-09T21:45:00.000-07:00

Was bored at work tonight and was watching the "Baby" video on the phone..totally daydreaming about how surreal it would be for a guy with a voice like that to sing a song about you (ok, me, but I was trying not to seem too dorky..FIAL!!)

Speaking of pretty voices..I wonder if that drummer will get her own track..She sounds so nice and, hell, even Ringo got his own song..just saying../innocent...

Live With It!!

2010-10-06T11:53:00.000-07:00

Yeah, this is turning into the "Fellate Neon Trees" blog but I can't resist. I haven't liked a band this much in years.

Hooray!

2010-10-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39519624/?GT1=43001

The article says "noisy" bags. No, those bags weren't simply noisy. They were OMGWTFBBQ loud. Opening the bag to grab a few chips as a snack would cause the apartment to echo with the rattle of the "noise". We live close to the airport and the sound of the jets was less headache inducing than this poorly thought out bag. The sound would terrify the cats and it would take hours to get them back into the living room, even with the promise of turkey.
Apparantly the designers, testers and suppliers of the material of this bag were ALL FUCKING DEAF. No,sorry, that's an unfair assessment. Even deaf people can feel the vibration soundwaves that this horrendous package gives off. The package was obviously given the OK for shelves entirely by a group of people who are desperately trying to obtain immortality by keeping themselves in a sensory deprived stasis, probably since before gunpowder was invented since they obviously have no fucking clue that noises this incredibly loud could be man-made. I vote we wake them out of their thousand year slumber and introduce them to the horror they have wrought on the human race.

Besides that, I love Sun Chips. They are the tastiest chips on the market and the new flavors haven't disappointed, ever..

Just For The Record

2010-10-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

Was totally psyched to go see Neon Trees here in Indy until 30 Seconds To Mars bailed. Now I'm horribly disappointed. After seeing so many videos of them live/acoustic they are one of the few bands that I'd shell out the money for ticketmaster's retarded fees. They even make Justin Bieber sound good. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to wait.

Damn, Conan, When Did You Get So Sexy??

2010-10-05T10:00:00.000-07:00

I Want MY Bird

2010-09-28T22:29:00.000-07:00

On the nights that I can get to sleep, I usually dream that I have gotten a real house again and when I walk in, the super puppy is there to meet me. He's the best damned dog in the whole wide world and I would give almost anything to have him back.

I'm sorry Abby!!! I Love you!

2010-09-25T15:34:00.001-07:00

see more Comixed

2010-09-22T18:49:00.001-07:00

I miss my fucking dog so much.

Neon Trees "Animal"

2010-09-15T18:41:00.001-07:00

There are at least 10 reasons off the top of my head that I love this video. It tickles me that the singers 'hawk looks like Boyo's, lol. And I love the jacket that the drummer wears sometimes. And, mostly, cause the song kicks ass.

SANDWICH, BITCH!

2010-09-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Playful Echoing In My Vacuous Cranial Space

2010-09-01T05:47:00.000-07:00

I get it, honestly! In person I tend to come off as vapid, indecisive, unaware and uneducated. I swear a lot, giggle too much, forget things easily and readily admit when I don't know something (which, btw, is a whole lot). I used to be almost continually shocked and aggravated when people treated me like the air-head that I come off as. Now, I use it to my advantage when selling stuff to men. Please don't take offense guys, but you are truly suckers for a pretty girl with a bubbly smile. I'm not just saying that, either, but all that is for a different post.

The thing that still irritates me is how most of the people I am close with treat me like I am a retarded goldfish. Specifically boyfriends..the guys who should know the real me better than anyone else. Maybe I just date selfish, self-centered guys and they gloss over the parts where I was deep, thoughtful, able to discuss current news events, worried about my future, philisophical, torn about religion. Yes, I am a mental dynamo, continually churning out so many ideas that some nights I can't even sleep. Maybe they are just asshats who take avantage of my exceptionally generous nature and come running back to me because they only remember the parts where I baked them cookies and was a good listener. Look, every-major-relationship-I-have-had-in-the-last-10-years (ALL THREE OF YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, IF YOU ARE WONDERING), I am not your mom or your sister or your therapist. I don't care if your ex-gf is making you sad or you're stressed about work or you want to try and bond over stories of places where we lived. We aren't together anymore for a reason, a BIG reason. I wouldn't let you use me and jerk me around when I was still getting anything from you, why would you even think that ringing me up for phone sex because you are sad/lonely/frustrated/irritated would even be a viable option. Jesus, maybe I'm not the shallow, stupid one in these relationships. If you want to use my girlfriendy services then you are more than welcome to recommit and give something in return. I have to warn you, though, the rates have gone up some in the last few years. Just being in my presence and talking to me isn't going to cut it anymore.

You can thank one of my college-type teachers for that. The smartest guy I know and also one of the sexiest. He gave me the best compliment I have ever, ever, ever had. He told me that I would make a good scientist. So there.

About Damn Time

2010-08-19T21:41:00.001-07:00

Sorry about the terrible photo quality, lately. MY stupid Kodak decided to die during my graduation so I've been using the cam on my iPhone which, even though its not as clear and crisp as I need, at least it fucking works for more than 7 months. Yeah, Kodak?

Boyo's 10th birthday, complete with Hitler comb-over mohawk and villain mustache on a stick.

First day of 5th grade. I saw that outfit in a Target ad and made him wear it cause its just toooooooo cute.

The Unhappy Truth, Suck It Up

2010-07-31T16:36:00.000-07:00

"Physical infidelity is the
signal, the notice given,
that all fidelities are undermined."

- Katherine Anne Porter

WoW!

2010-07-25T16:48:00.000-07:00

***I wrote this a couple days ago, but I'm not one to let a good post go to waste.***

One of the things that Abby and I really enjoy doing is gaming. He is more into the fighting games like Gods of War or GTA and I like the cuter ones, like Harvest Moon. We both like the song and dance ones, like GH or Rock Band (we actually have a good thing going with me singing and him and Boyo on drums and bass).

The one game we both absolutely go bonkers for is World of Warcraft. He had wanted to do it for a long time and I resisted since I didn't want to be a "nerd". But then I saw his best friend's dad playing it and was totally enthralled. I spent 20 minutes watching his character fly on a hippogryph from place to place.

So we got accounts and leveled our cute little elves and cats up to about 45 but when things started going bad as far as money and time constraints, we decided to cancel the game as part of our cutbacks. Poor Abby, lol, he never heard the end of my moaning about how much I missed Tuna, my pet in the game. Tuna is awesome. She is the best tank ever and does kickass amounts of damage. I freaking looooove Tuna.

Since I have gotten out of school and have some spare time and money I realized I can play WoW again. Yay!! I have been playing alone for the last week, waiting for Abby to get off his high horse and let me buy him a decent computer to play with (again!!! LOL Abby. <3). The biggest problem I've run into is that I actually need my Babykins to play with. He is the 3rd to round out the party so me and Tuna can take mobs that are our level and drop the mats I need. He is also the one who understands about the stats and points and stuff like that. I'm badass at killing things but Abbysaur is the brains behind the operations, lol.

I was trying to upgrade my weapons/jewelry last night when Boyo flipped out and started screaming that I can't get rid of the armor I was wearing cause it was made by Twitch. I scrolled over my top and, damn, the kid is right. It was made by Twitch. And I think he made it with some leather armor that another of my toons created. We make a good team, lol.

Abby! Come back to WoW, with me! LOL. I neeeeds you, seriously.I need new armor and you to tell me what to buy..I has a new ring for you and a trollskin 14 slot bag. Look!

I can make you a pirate again!

I found a mob that can turn you into a sheep.:)Am I more adorable than usual or what?

See? You gotta make new armor for me or I will have to go around naked. :)

Something To Fill Up The Space

2010-07-17T05:19:00.000-07:00

At work we are getting ready for a visit from a BOSS from corporate. As far as I can tell from the nervous attitude of my managers and the string of visiting helpers, the person coming is 15 feet tall not including the viking helmet covered in the skins of his enemies, breathes fire and wrestles hell hounds on his summer vacations.
One of the tasks given to me (maybe cause I'm the only one who will take it seriously?) is to clean the front of the store. In my scrub-scrub adventures the past few weeks I can only guess that the store was opened 10 years ago and has never, ever managed to have someone in the front end who could sweep, mop, dust or vacuum. We have a spider population that has evolved and adapted to living in a retail store. They eat so well that I can't tell if there are 3 of them living in one corner or if some of my customers are actually the mega-arachnids who can mimic human form. I am constantly vacuuming up the corpses of lady bugs, beetles, roly-polys and other unidentifiable insects from the front entry way. Honestly, its surpising none of us get bitten. Of course, now that I've said something I'll probably have some little old lady unhinge her jaw to expose her poison injecting fangs and attempt to make me her lunch.

There..See? Took me 3 hours of cleaning. That stuff isn't dirt, no no no. All that black crap is floor wax that has pooled up in edges and corners and collected dirt, leaves and bug bodies.
Go me!!!:)

Oi, cake!

2010-07-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

A fun little pic from before things went to complete shit. Even when I was jobless, hopeless and facing bankruptcy, a little cheesecake to the face made us smile.

Twilight For Dudes

2010-07-11T06:17:00.000-07:00

"It's like a female Shawshank Redemption, directed by Michael Bay."

Strawberries Breads, Dildos!

2010-07-10T12:47:00.000-07:00

Lovely bright red, delicious fresh strawberries.

I tried mini loaves this time. I wasn't sure if I should grease and flour these since they are bendy but I didn't want to take the chance.

I slap-chopped the berries this time since I wasn't too keen on the chunks giving the bread fault lines last time. I think I will do more next time as the original 1 cup didn't quite make it after the whirring blades of death got through with them.

The dry ingredients.

The wet ingredients, plus vanilla. I also used about half the salt and cinnamon that the recipe calls for, otherwise it is just banana bread with berries instead.

The loaves! Aren't they adorable? They came out just perfect.

A Very Good Day

2010-07-07T16:48:00.000-07:00

A customer walked in wearing such a striking and attractive shirt that I felt the need to not only comment but call a co-worker over to show him the nifty pattern. We all got to chatting about it and the customer mentioned that he had bought the shirt in the late 60's while he was in Vietnam. I'm a bit of a nerdbomber and asked if I could get a pic of the shirt to show off the sheer awesomeness of it.

A Little Of This And That

2010-07-06T17:36:00.001-07:00

The only rough spot is the nasty head cold I picked up from my customers who come up to me and lick their fingers while sorting their cash or use their teeth to hold the check so they don't have to put down their cell phone or just plain old cough and wheeze on me. Gross, people, my hands are raw from the constant use of sanitizing gel, give it a rest for a bit, ok? Poor Abby has had to suffer through my stuffed up aroo roo roo-ing until 1 AM and then the Nyquil txting so sloppy that he finally asked if I was drunk. Boyo has been trying to be a good boy and keeps bringing me ice pops and diet coke when I start coughing. Thankfully I keep the Nyquil well out of his reach or he would probably be trying to force feed it to me in my sleep.

We celebrated the 4th in usual fashion, just a little less than in past years. I am a great big sissy about fireworks and the lighting of anything more complicated than a sparkler I left up to more adventurous hands. Plus, the firework laws in Indiana are pretty much nonexistant. If you can light the fucker, go for it! When we bought some festive explosives, I went with the cheap ones in the hope that they would be simple and not too 'splodey. Sure, I could show you the video of the singular box o' building burners that we set off, but do you really need to see plastic tubes shooting 20 feet in the air to the sound of me screaming hysterical obscenities?

The Silver Lining

2010-07-01T19:54:00.000-07:00

Even though the trip back home was for a heartbreaking reason, we still managed to squeeze some fun in. We got to see Abby and a couple of other friends, shopped at Kaboom! on its last day open next to BAM, ate some good food and did some interesting things.

Abby has the coolest iPhone cover and I was terribly jealous, since mine was boring and plain, so we stopped in at Radio Shack after the hand-off and got a new one for me. I was leaning towards his funky pattern in blue but kept eyeballing this one.

Boyo and I stopped off for pics at a few places, one of which is the road construction on Ball's Bluff Parkway to connect it to itself. God, that would have been so useful 4 years ago when I was lost on the other side and couldn't figure out why home wasn't on the road it was on before. LOL

This is the house that we watched burn, around Christmas time. A lot of places seemed to catch fire that week, but Leesburg seems to be quite fire prone in a big way. Yeah, I'm talking about you, car wash on Catoctin Circle. Boyo has a personal interest in the rebuilding of this place so we swung by to check it out.

When I rented the car, they told me it would be blue. How exciting, my favorite color! Yeah, Abby laughed at me mercilessly when he saw it. Called it my Power Puff-mobile.

HAHAHA..He had to drive it too. In yo FAISE, you filthy hippie!

You got your ducats upside down there, player.

Now Who's Going To Sniff The Pizza Guy's Crotch?

2010-06-30T16:01:00.001-07:00

For those of you out there who didn't know, K and I adopted a dog in 2004, right about this time. Indiana, Croconanas, Dr. Jones, Nanakins Dogwalker, Commodore Fluffypaws..he went by dozens of names. He inspired the inside emote "lollernanas" from his grunting flailing about on his back when he was especially happy.

Long story short, we lost the ability and, in some cases, the concern to continue our care of him. I have been crying over it for days now and Abby and I scrambled to find someplace for him to go but in the end we had to give him back to LDCRF, the rescue he came from originally. I opted to drive the 1200 mile round trip because it was less agonizing to rent a car, spend 200 on fuel and food and sleep in my car for 2 nights rather than give him to a shelter and him be euthanized. He is a good dog and its not his fault that a couple of douchebags chose him.

After his bath, all brushed out and soft. He isn't fat, its just his fur...its poofy!

Boyo spent 2 days wrapped around Indy, begging me not to give him away.

Abby went with me to turn him over and say our last goodbyes. Thank you for being there, Abbysaur, through one of worst parts of life and not bailing on me.

Goodbye, super Nanas, you're the best dog. We love you.

A "Day Off"

2010-06-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

Today I do not have to go into my paying job, yay! Instead I did the dishes, made the bed, finished organizing Boyo's books in the new bookcase I put together last night, vacuumed the house, dusted my room, made the bed and am now playing obscene amounts of Guitar Hero with Boyo.
I am also browsing realtor.com for houses in the Ducky area of Tennesee. I think I can a afford something of managable size around this time next year if I move that way and have a steady paycheck in the next few months. I will also be able to enroll in a college down there and keep working on my degree. The next one...yeah..lol. I never really imagined that I would make my home away from a coast but I can see spending 5 years or so there, so it would be nice to have my own place to keep the dog and paint the bathroom stripey blue. Plus it will be easier to have friends come and stay or ...move in..*cough cough*.
That said, I am about to wring my child's neck. Oy vey, he won't shut up! LOL. Perhaps some duct tape...

Fair Warning

2010-06-11T20:50:00.000-07:00

One Ton and Boyo have an evil symbiotic relationship. He gives her belly rubs on demand and she keeps watch all night to place gypsy curses on those who dare to wander into her domain while her minion gets his rest. Cause, you know, its so hard to get a decent belly rub or back scratch when your slave child is cranky and surly by mid-afternoon.

2010-06-10T14:47:00.001-07:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

In Return For Her Book

2010-06-09T17:30:00.000-07:00

A little after dinner Sarah Palin for you, Abbysaur. You're welcome.

2010-06-09T11:14:00.000-07:00

Why is nothing ever easy? LOL. All I need is a new freaking phone and its like I am trying to arrange for a 3 ring circus to perform in my bathtub. OH GOD!!! NOT THE CLOWNS!!!! ANYTHING BUT THE CLOOOOWNS!!!! lollernanas.

Fear The Mighty Chloe!

2010-06-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

I'd do it agsin, too, if I had the chance.

I Shall Name Thee "Snack"!

2010-06-07T21:11:00.000-07:00

Iron Man 2

2010-06-03T16:32:00.000-07:00

We drove 600 miles to see it and it was TOTALLY worth it in the theater that we ended up at. Iron Man should always be seen on the biggest state-of-the-art screen possible and as loudly as possible. Also, it should be watched with Abby and Boyo and eating super extra nomlicious pretzel bites with nacho cheese(which were on sale at the time, double bonus!) You can buy your own noms and the boys can be rented out from me for a small fee.

I expected to be disappointed. I honestly figured it would start out with a lot of flashy, neat-o effects and then fizzle on the story line, trying to ride on the excellence of the first one. I was wrong, yay! Ye gods, was I ever wrong and I will happily admit it. (Take note, this is only the second time in the history of everything that I have admitted that I am wrong.) It was just as stunning as the first one. Gorgeous cinematography, repeat worthy one liners, that one shot of Pepper and Natasha walking up the stairs in their cocktail dresses. And even though the video of Tony's dad came off way too Walt Disney-esque, it was nice how they showed that he wasn't remembering his dad's harsh attitude incorrectly. And the part where Howard wanted to show the world his ass was pretty damned good, too.
So, yeah, all in all, this movie got a solid 5 out of 5..of whatever rating system I'm going to need to come up with if I keep reviewing stuff.

This will definitely be a movie that we are going to buy two copies of so we aren't fighting over it.

Joe Strummer!!

2010-05-23T11:09:00.000-07:00

I considered putting a live version up here but decided I could do without the poor sound quality and the sweaty fat guy being a poser. No offense, lead singer/drummer of Cowboy Mouth, but you really don't have a lot of room to be picky, especially if the girl dresses that cool. Although, the whole pop rock, boy band thing IS a huge turn off.

Squee!!!!

2010-05-23T07:35:00.000-07:00

This is quite honestly the second most awesomest video ever (the other I took myself, but we can't talk about that in polite company *naughty grin*).

OMG. My favorite song from Carbon Leaf and the new Star Trek. Did I mention how much I love Carbon Leaf and Star Trek? Have you not been reading my blog? Go ahead, I'll wait a minute...Do you understand the squealing girl factor now? LOL. I can't wait to share...

I Long To Be, Is It Wrong To Be?

2010-05-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

I'm So Into You I'm Getting Rushes

2010-05-22T18:31:00.000-07:00

LOL, I remember when he was Darius Danesh..What happened to that?

More Maroon 5

2010-05-22T16:59:00.000-07:00

Reminds me of L2

2010-05-22T16:42:00.000-07:00

Nastiest Little Sex Puppet

2010-05-22T16:29:00.001-07:00

A Good Solution?

2010-05-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

Since teh roomie is not one to discuss current events and my favorite conversation partner is indisposed for a couple of hours, you will just have to hear it.

There is a debate about what to do with all the sex offenders in Los Angeles. One solution put forth was to round them up and move them to the high desert, the area in which I grew up. My friends back home are outraged at this suggestion and, frankly, so am I. Why is it the desert gets all the scum? The slick mega-casinos, brothels, dead bodies, explosive meth labs, zealot religious seperatists, obsessive e-stalkers, and now the creepy perverts who can't keep their hands to themselves. Ok, yes, I admit there are miles of lovely open space to do naughty things in the desert, but does that mean you are morally obligated to do them there? The sex offenders can't live within a certain distance from schools, churches, playgrounds..Anywhere, really, where children congregate. In such a kid-centric society as ours, there is a rare spot in a city that is the alloted "far enough away". So they find one little proper area and they all live in the same neighborhood, mostly living off the public dole because, well, who wants a child molester serving up your Whopper, no onions?

Detroit also seems to have a problem, as well. They have too many empty buildings and have plans to finish clearing out the neighborhoods and then demolish huge sections of the city. Why? Why not just move the sex offenders to the empty, run down parts of the city and give them job skills training by fixing up their own homes? Then, they can be put to work running a government funded animal sanctuary for abandoned pets. Goats, horses, puppies..whatever. They can also use their new carpentry skills to continue fixing up the other neighborhoods to be resold as low cost housing options to all the poor bastards who need a leg up in this economy. And that's a plan to give them pride in their community, worry about property values from having so many criminals in the area and actively repay their moral debt to society.

Good For You

2010-05-19T10:46:00.001-07:00

I'm proud of you, Arizona, for sticking up for yourself and not backing down. You have the right to protect yourself and your people and you are doing a damned good job leading the way. I hope the rest of us will be as brave and have as much backbone as you when the time comes to stand up for our country and defend it.

Graduated!

2010-05-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

Lollerskates! By the time I am done with the next part, Boyo will be taller than me.:)

Japanese Schoolgirl Levels of Excitement

2010-05-11T19:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, that is exactly what is happening in my house this week. I am preparing Boyo and Slinky Cat for a road trip home for my COLLEGE GRADUATION!!! Yay! And not only that, we will be spending the weekend celebrating with Abby. YAY ABBY! We have not seen him in about 6 weeks and everyone is quite mopey about it. Slinky Cat has gotten clingy, Boyo has gotten flappier and I..well, we won't get into that but it involves a lot of crying in the fetal and asking for my mommy. :)Anyhow, this weekend is going to be SUPER EXCITING and will involve a lot of cooking and driving around doing stuff and possibly obscene amounts of booze (but prolly not the last part..i'm a lightweight in my old age and keeping up with Abby would kill me, lollerskates). *bounce bounce bounce*

The weekend after, hopefully, we will be taking a trip down to Ducky's humble abode to visit the household and our super-puppy furry eyebrow Indy'nanas. I miss my super puppy and I love being at Ducky's house. I feel more at home there than I do anywhere else in the world, even when I had my own house back in that state we used to live in. *Crash's ucky puke face*

So expect pics o' the shenanigans come Monday..or Tuesday if I need extra time for hangover recovery.

Takes After His Mom

2010-05-04T14:46:00.000-07:00

On the way to school today S and I got into a conversation about the woman he wants to marry. She has to be a pretty pastry chef who works in a chocolate factory. On their first date they have to eat pizza but if she says, "*mock falsetto* But I don't like pizza.", he will say, "Ok. Chinese?". If she says "*mock falsetto* But I don't like Chinese.", he will say, "That's ok. Let's go to your house and find something yummy to eat." So they will get into his car and BAM!, he will introduce her to his (r)ejector seat.

Just For The Record

2010-05-03T11:40:00.001-07:00

I hate e-stalkers. You're creepy and you freak me out.

Dark Magic and Chef Boyardee Dependence

2010-04-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

Most commercials have a target audience of meth addicted four year old who have received mutiple lobotomies. They come and go so fast that I usually don't have time to even understand what they are trying to sell me, much less form any sort of moral outrage at the content. Chef Boyardee produced a video that is apparantly the butt of spoofs and jokes. I just find the terrible thing reprehensible on so many levels.

In the beginning, the mom tells her daughter that she has had "Chef" every night that week. OMG, what is wrong with you, woman? The child responds with a heartbroken "But, I love Chef". Of course you do, you poor neglected little darling. The Chef appears to be the only adult in your life who provides you with any kind of consideration. So the kid puts the can back and it then throws itself from the shelf and begins to frantically roll after her mother's car as it drives home. You know, this kind of juvenile telekinesis has traditionally been a sign of a troubled child. So they get home and the girl is playing in what appears to be the living room and her mother yells in from another room ( I assumed it was a kitchen, but in light of her dismal parenting skills, it could have been the opium den where she receives male visitors for cash money) and asks the kid what she wants for dinner. Well, duh..she wants a can of sodium ravioli. Her condescending faux concern over what her unwanted offspring feels like eating would be demoralizing to a normal person. This kid, though, is so immersed in her imaginary world, the one where the Chef has taken the place of her unavailable parents, that she completely disregards the shallow inquiry and instead finishes her dark summoning of the can of food that finally made its way to her from the store. Woe to her mother if she tries to feed the kid a pork chop or a nice salad.

Oh, my super puppy, how I miss thee!

2010-04-05T18:01:00.000-07:00

Due to a mix-up with K and my "moving about the world" plans, we found ourselves with a serious lack of dog friendly housing. Thankfully (OMG, seriously, thank you again!), my bestest pal in the world offered to take the great slobbery beast until such a time that I can talk the PVT into moving with me into a real live house.
In the mean time, I miss the mutt so much. I find that I depend on him a lot for home security. Whenever I hear a noise here, and the lack of a cautioning "woof!" I mistakenly assume that the person is not coming to my door. Also, about a million times a day, I just barely stop myself from calling his name to see where he is or to get him to come clean up some spilled crumbs. :( I miss my great big super puppy. The only thing that's keeping me from snatching him and running back to the Virginia house is that I know he is being cared for and has his fill of dropped food and ear rubs.

He Who Must Not Be Named

2010-03-15T21:15:00.000-07:00

I have gotten a lot of hits to my blog from really bizarre places that came here after searching for YOU KNOW WHO and stay to read. Yes, I am talking to you, Canada and Iowa. I am glad you enjoy my blog.

And as for the Pennsylvania people who came in from my best pal's blog, I am REALLY REALLY REALLY sorry for the quanity and quality of my excessive swearing. I promise that I am actually fairly prissy in real life and you will not have to worry that meeting me will be like hosting a screening of some joke Tourette's movie.

Secret Handshake of the Douchebag Club

2010-03-05T13:31:00.000-08:00

I've begun to notice that pretty much all my ex-bfs grow a douchy, unkept goatee after we break up, even the ones I don't particularly dislike. At least they aren't going gay, I suppose.

2010-03-03T04:24:00.000-08:00

Had a funny dream this morning that I had sliced my thumb and forefinger on the edge of a can lid and then someone, who was named Kearny in the dream, bandaged them up and was caressing my face.

How to Get Better Customer Service by Being an A**hole

2010-02-12T16:59:00.000-08:00

Thanks, asshole, for making my life a little bit harder. Do you know what a fucking pain in the ass it is to deal with some jerkoff trying to return something with no receipt and its package is from about 4 years ago? Thanks so much for giving more people the go ahead for having a false sense of entitlement. I make 8 bucks an hour to be harassed by every mouth-breathing slowtard who wants to try and get one over on me, do you really think I give a flying fuck if my manager gets pissy with me for telling you "no"? I don't and, to be quite honest, I really dislike having the haughty, know-it-all attitude slathered across my work area while you try to be smarter than a cashier at some chain store. Good for you, you managed to brow-beat the lowest man on the totem pole. Go out and victory fuck your silicone trophy girlfriend and brag about it on your iPhone. God knows you couldn't be bothered to put that piece of shit down for 5 seconds to be polite to me.

How to Get Better Customer Service by Being an A**hole

Oh, The Flashbacks!!!

2009-12-14T10:39:00.001-08:00

see more Funny Graphs

truth!

2009-09-09T10:42:00.001-07:00

see more Political Pictures

Cheyenne Cherry

2009-06-09T14:15:00.000-07:00

You obnoxious little twat. You are a nasty, vulgar bully and it is ignorant assholes like you that help continue the cycle of abuse and bad feelings in the world. I hope you get thrown in prison for a long, long time to be the poster child example for every jerkoff just like you. I really, truly wish we still had public executions of people too horrible to live in proper society. The fact that you still have the support of your brother and that your mother took you back into her home after you murdered a defenseless baby animal is horrifying in itself. Your mother is either daft in the head or a bigger asshole than you are to encourage and nurture the abhorrent behaviors of her children. I can't fathom that she continued to support you after you robbed a man of his dog at gunpoint. If I had done something even fractionally that bad, my parents would have sent me to a home for incorrigibly awful children and forgotten about me until I pulled my head out of my ass. I am sorry your family doesn't love you enough to set you straight, but really, aren't you old enough to know better for yourself? I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that "she is a good girl who goes to church" will pop up eventually so why can't you tell right from wrong? I know why.You are a bad person who just doesn't give a shit.

last night

2009-05-08T09:40:00.001-07:00

Knowing what a huge fan I am, Abby talked me into blowing some of our meager funds and we went to see the new Star Trek film. I wasn't expecting anything great but I was really wrong. It was so amazing that even S sat enthralled for almost the whole film. He spent a few minutes whining about his too much candy tummy ache during one of the quiet, expository parts but it was no big deal.

I wonder that all the films I go to see are outstanding, like Iron Man, Quantum of Solace and now this. But I can afford to go to the theater so little that I wait until I am really excited to see a film before taking the risk.

Abby Does Good

2009-04-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite bands is Carbon Leaf and out of all the bands that I have continued to love through the years, they are the only band that I go see live. The first song from the radio that S ever sang was by them and it has become a tradition that Abby buys me tickets for Shamrockfest to see them for my birthday.
This year we did not pay attention to the layout of the show grounds and, even though we were there 3 hours early, we missed them. I was beyond disappointed and Abby felt awful that my birthday gift was ruined.
Yesterday I received a huge padded envelope and curiously opened it. The contents blew me away and brought a couple of tears to my eye. Abby had emailed Carbon Leaf to tell them what had happened and they sent me signed copies of some CDs and St. Patrick's Day posters for this year, along with birthday greetings.
Thank you Abby and Carbon Leaf for making this year's birthday so incredibly special.

(By the way, bucko, you are going to have to start thinking now to be able to top this next year.:)

Jamestown Saved From Terrible Death

2009-04-12T18:41:00.000-07:00

My boy is doing a project on Pocahontas and part of it is filling in an outline of why she is so important. He was so excited to write things down that he misspelled a few words.
An example : She gave food to Jamestown and saved people from staring.

OH NOES!! He caught the staring disease!

omg fieldtrip

2009-04-02T21:26:00.000-07:00

The boy's school took the entire third grade into DC to tour the Natural History museum and, even though we were not official chaperones, Abby and I took a lovely ride on the metro to meet them. We had more fun than not and spent half a week's grocery money on lunch and were thoroughly exhausted at the end of four hours running around being excited and screaming to each other "OH MY GOD!! LOOK at THIS!!"

Temper, Temper

2009-03-31T03:52:00.000-07:00

When I was younger my dad sent me to a private school run by Baptists. One day our bible teacher came in with a cast on his hand and proceeded to tell the story of how it was broken. He had lost his temper, most ferociously, and had shattered a bone in his hand by pounding his fist against the table. The lesson I took from this was not "watch your temper" but "watch your temper with tables".
God decided that I had obviously not learned the lesson I was meant to learn and reiterated the point yesterday when I lost my temper, most ferociously. My darling son has a friend who lives in our neighborhood, a few streets away. We got him a cell phone to be able to keep in touch with him at all times and drilled him on cell phone safety and the importance of not misplacing it. He, however, decided to give his phone number to his friend's mom "in case your cell phone is dead". I fucking lost it. My child makes stupid decisions, and this wasn't even a judgment call he needed to make as the rule was he can call me or Abby, period, that's it, end of story. As I worked up steam in my lecture I slammed my hand on my desk, catching the handle end of a pair of scissors, which were conveniently laying perpendicular across another pair of scissors. They comically flipped up, partially opened and then came down, pointy end, on my finger. I immediately began gushing blood from the triangle chunk of flesh that was gouged out and lamented that I would need one or two stitches - just enough to make me go to the hospital, not quite enough to keep from being laughed at. Well, the bleeding stopped on its own, thankfully, but I can't help feeling that God is having a good laugh at me anyhow.

MIA

2009-03-17T04:41:00.001-07:00

It has been several months since I last posted and in the blogosphere that is tantamount to a fiery death and dismemberment. I am surprised a hiker and his golden retriever didn't find my body in a shallow grave while wandering a trail. Anyhow, I have been very busy doing absolutely nothing. I play Second Life a lot and a lot of little mini games on Facebook and MySpace..games that some people *cough cough* won't play with me. *cough* Ducky *cough*. I do have pics, tho.

The new hamster, Betsy.

Shamrockfest...BEER!!!! Can you tell that wasn't my first one? LOL

stupid stupid subconscious

2008-12-27T05:53:00.000-08:00

Had another long, involved dream about Kasey Beno. I mean, I know why I had it this time, but that is not a subject for my dear, sensitive internet readers. It was, of course, a bizarro, impossible dream that took place in the house I lived in when I was in highschool. It was exactly as I remember it was like when I was 16, but in my dream, I was home to visit and apparantly so was Kasey Beno. For some reason he stopped by with his fiance, son and soon to be stepdaughter to wish everyone a happy holiday. It ended with my sister teasing me mercilessly, as usual. The middle is for me, alone, but it did involve my old camera that refuses to focus on anything other than the completely wrong object about 7 miles away, thereby making everything important in the photo blurry. The camera, for some reason, also looked like the old 35 mm that my dad bought me about that time, for Christmas.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T17:15:00.000-08:00

To you, Ducky,my best pal and Wynne, who has also put up with my shenanigans for the better part of two decades..and to the the person from Lockheed who keeps browsing my website..and to the person who finds my part of the net by searching for Kasey Beno. Merry Christmas to you all. I hope you are having a wonderful day.

I can't think of everything

2008-12-16T18:50:00.000-08:00

I try very, very hard to word my instructions to Boyo to cover every possible variation that he can come up with. Somehow he manages to find the most retarded, annoying, or dangerous way to do things, ways that I couldn't imagine in a million years. He thwarts my every attempt to keep him safe and within the accepted bounds of society.
Take today, for example. I told him to feed the dog, one of his usual chores. The last 100 times he has gotten a scoop of food, put it in the bowl and filled the water bowl some too. Today, when I had finally let my guard down, he stood in the junction of the kitchen/living room/dining rooom and threw the pieces, one by one, around the main floor of the house to make the dog hunt for it. Seriously, is he that bored with life?

Bok bok bok!

2008-12-16T02:04:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite clip from the music show that Boyo's grade put on the other day. The song is absolutely adorable and the kids in the back doing chicken noises made me giggle like crazy. I'm not sure you can hear it in the video but I was cracking up the whole time. My apologies for the bald spot of the guy in front of me.

Cats v Dogs

2008-12-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

I met a very wise man who speaks very broken english and relies on a translator for a lot of our conversations. We were chatting one day and he overheard me baby talking my dog. "Mr. Fluffypaws, Mummy loves you..mummy loves you..yessir she does..big boy..big boy.." You all get the point. I was also administering smoochy puppy kissies. He mentioned that I love my dog very much and I relplied that I hate dogs, that they are smelly, gross animals and I actually prefer cats. He laughed at me and said..
"Oh, no! Dogs are way better. Cats do not love you, they love the house. You know when you move, the cat, he stays at the before house. Cats are very materialistic."

Apparantly, he has been abandoned by many cats through the years.

S IS the turkey!

2008-11-28T11:54:00.001-08:00

Photo from last year when I had too much time on my hands and haunted the local bookstore.

To Someone Who May Have Lived Here

2008-11-18T10:48:00.000-08:00

Dear James Williams,
You may or may not have lived in Leesburg, Virginia. Who knows? But you sure do have people convinced that you lived in my house at one point or another. The cops, lawyers, judges, junk mailers and that skeptical blonde lady who just showed up on my doorstep asking too many personal questions. I'm not sure what you have done to cause people to want to see you this much. I wish I knew because they are pissing me off. You would think that after at least a year of you NOT BEING HERE they would take the hint. Did you kill someone? Did you keep her Firebird in the divorce? I have had my fill of cranky, skinny blondes in my life and, frankly, I'm to the point of not giving a damn what you did as long as I can give these people who keep bothering me a hard time. Except if you aren't paying child support. Then I will give you up so fast. I don't blame you, James Williams, for them not being able to find you; I would want to hide from them too. They are annoying.

Love,
Dread Pirate Me

5 things lists

2008-11-18T04:33:00.000-08:00

My best friend over at Dorkelina wants people to do this. The jokes on her tho, she knows already! Muahahahaha!

5 Things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago

- Helping my best bud move into an apartment in Toronto.
- Living with my ex and his quirky family in same place.
- Eating. A lot.
- Being grateful for not living at home.
- Planning ways to celebrate Christmas a s much as possible to torture my
ex's parents.

5 Things on My To-Do List Today

- doctor
- sleep
- dishes
- clean a bathroom
- work

5 Snacks I Like

- diet coke
- sun chips, harvest cheddar lately
- Chdeddar Jack Cheese-Its
- Mango
- Chewy granola bars

5 Things I Would Do If I Was A Millionaire

- Pay off our debt
- set up college funds
- invest
- Buy a little house
- Finally buy some of the cars that are on my "I WANT IT" list

5 Places I Have Lived (for various lengths of time)

- Palmdale, CA
- Ontario, Canada
- Tampa, FL
- Augusta, GA
- Canon City, CO

5 Jobs I Have Had

- McDonald's. Don't laugh! Low standards make me a GOD there.
- Target HR clerk.
- Book seller.
- US Army.
- FYE

Twilight and Stuff....

2008-11-11T04:53:00.000-08:00

I've read the books, mostly, and am looking forward to the film trimming out all of the useless repeats scenees. However, this guy makes me laugh.

5 Reasons You'll Hate The Movie 'Twilight' -- powered by Cracked.com

Poor Ugly Kitty

2008-11-09T14:53:00.000-08:00

Look at that poor animal's eyes. Is that a side effect of the the medication or is that the best model they could afford for the ad? Seriously, you could put a cat ear headband on my dog and get a cuter cat than this.

guess what I did today?

2008-11-04T10:35:00.001-08:00

I was so excited while I waited in line. I almost couldn't keep myself from doing a Steve Martin "wild and crazy guys" dance.
God, I love democracy...it's such a turn on.

oh, the agony

2008-11-02T04:26:00.001-08:00

Lately, I have had a lot of free time. Mostly I have used this fantastic good luck to read a lot of books and sleep and not to clean or do schoolwork.
How did I get so lucky? I am not working for the time being as I twisted my knee at work. Since worker's compensation is a no-fault insurance, so to speak, I will not attempt to qualify or explain why it happened. The doctor I went to is sure that my knee is sprained and thinks that I have torn something inside of it. I have no clue what the problem is, only that, despite the throbbing, radiating pain, I can still walk. I have never been so grateful in my life, lol.
Despite my crippling fear of any kind of surgery on my knee, I will be happy when they fix whatever causes the occasional shooting pain that feels like,I imagine, a skewer being jammed under my kneecap.
I moved my command center to my room so I have all the comforts of home without needing to walk up and down the stairs, which causes my new bum knee to pop and crack in very unsavory ways. I have the TV and computer and full bath within 10 feet of my bed, which is nice and have been reading the books that the new TV series Trueblood is based on. I ran out of those after book 4 and grudgingly began reading Twilight, which is good but a little repetitive. I think if even a few of the repeat scenes were cut the book would be 1/3 less long. Still, its a good read. I suppose I should find out if there is a series to it or if this is it..

Breast Cancer Awareness

2008-10-28T08:05:00.000-07:00

Check out the sidebar for save the tatas. Saw a bumper sticker from this company last week and someone..ABBY..has been begging for a couple of their t-shirts for guys. Fabulous cause and great shirts.:)

Life is Just a Rodeo

2008-10-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

There is one song in the rotation at work that catches my attention and even though no one knew what song it is or even the band, I found myself with the first few lines stuck in my head during the day.
When the song came on last night, I dropped everything I was doing and asked everyone in the store if they knew what it was. Of course no one did, so I really sat and listened to it. I can't tell guitars or drummers or bassists, but, by God, I know my singers.
Enjoy having this run through your head at weird moments tomorrow. Try singing it to your dog, too. Mine HATES it, lol.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2008-10-21T18:07:00.001-07:00

Truth

2008-10-21T13:52:00.001-07:00

You Are Stalking

You tend to be very obsessive. Once you focus your attention on something or someone, it's all you think about.

You are also very secretive. People don't know much about the life that you lead.

You are attracted to weak people. You may want to prey on them, but you also may just want to help them.

You need attention, and you can get desperate if you aren't getting attention from the right person. You'll do about anything to get noticed.

What Felony Are You?