Thursday, September 29, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Can't Stop Laughing
This blog post was funny enough to actually hyperlink it the correct way. I am truly honestly surprised my neighbors have not called the cops from my extended amounts of howling with laughter at 10:30 at night.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Exhibitionist! Yes! That's the word I was looking for.
http://www.aolnews.com/2011/01/27/breast-feeding-canadian-moms-create-flash-mob-at-mall/?test=latestnews
I am a mother who nursed her baby. I will nurse any other children I happen to have. But I refuse to do so in public. Perhaps I am just old fashioned that way, but I prefer to not be exposed to strangers, no matter what the reason. I even throw a blanket over my shoulder in front of women that I am related to. Yes, I agree, it is a great idea, gives the baby innumerable benefits and head starts. But I feel that it is still something that shouldn't be done in front of God and everybody, especially with all the sick fucks on the internet with a pregnancy/breast milk/nursing fantasy. Those people are real, you know, and eventually find their way to places with other people..like malls and restaurants and whatever. Yeah, it IS their problem and, no , I don't expect to be attacked and molested in a crowd but I do prefer to give these retards the least amount of ammunition to go home and beat off to a fantasy involving my newborn.
Fine, ok...If you want to undress yourself when you are feeding your kid, everyone should have that right. When I take Boyo to McDonald's for a hamburger and fries then I can just tug one side down and sit out his meal time with my nipple pointing at the old couple in the other corner. Or! When a guy goes to feed his baby he can just clothespin half of his shirt up and have his hairy man boob soaking up the atmosphere. What? We are feeding our kids. Step off with your judgemental attitude.
In this day and age there is no reason to whip out a breast and let your baby go to town for the entertainment of everyone in the food court. There are plenty of ways to get that milk out of you and into a bottle for those emergency times when you just can't drag yourself away from the sale racks at Nordstrom's to care for your offspring. Same natural benefits, less whining from the hippie jerks who want one more reason to demonize everyone with sensibilities.
"Its natural and beautiful!"- Oh yes, quite natural. Just as natural as peeing and pooping and having sex and antelopes being eaten by cheetahs. But you wouldn't want any of that happening at the next table over at The Olive Garden.
"Jesus was breast fed!" - Yeah? Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus. How about you? No? Huh.. Women in Jesus's time were also stoned for adultery but that's "barbaric" now. Oh, and those women HAD NO CHOICE. It was feed your baby or let it starve. No bottles, no breast pumps, no storage systems with handy lines to put the date on. Let's leave the "but Jesus" comparisons out of arguments from now on unless you feel like converting to Judaism, covering your hair and staying home to cook and clean and bear children uncontrollably.
Why does this topic seem to be fought by upper middle class soccer moms with enough spare time to hop in their Suburbans and drive down to the mall for the afternoon. I don't think its so much they want the right to spend, what, 9 months feeding their kid in the most uncomfortable way possible for everyone but that they really need a hobby. Seriously, I get it. You went to college, got your liberal education, worked for a bit and now suddenly you are sitting at home with a wobbly little drool box and watching Baby Einstein videos all day while you slowly get too fat for your highschool cheerleading uniform. You're bored, restless, cut off. Sister, I feel your pain but please find something else to make you feel relevant.
I am a mother who nursed her baby. I will nurse any other children I happen to have. But I refuse to do so in public. Perhaps I am just old fashioned that way, but I prefer to not be exposed to strangers, no matter what the reason. I even throw a blanket over my shoulder in front of women that I am related to. Yes, I agree, it is a great idea, gives the baby innumerable benefits and head starts. But I feel that it is still something that shouldn't be done in front of God and everybody, especially with all the sick fucks on the internet with a pregnancy/breast milk/nursing fantasy. Those people are real, you know, and eventually find their way to places with other people..like malls and restaurants and whatever. Yeah, it IS their problem and, no , I don't expect to be attacked and molested in a crowd but I do prefer to give these retards the least amount of ammunition to go home and beat off to a fantasy involving my newborn.
Fine, ok...If you want to undress yourself when you are feeding your kid, everyone should have that right. When I take Boyo to McDonald's for a hamburger and fries then I can just tug one side down and sit out his meal time with my nipple pointing at the old couple in the other corner. Or! When a guy goes to feed his baby he can just clothespin half of his shirt up and have his hairy man boob soaking up the atmosphere. What? We are feeding our kids. Step off with your judgemental attitude.
In this day and age there is no reason to whip out a breast and let your baby go to town for the entertainment of everyone in the food court. There are plenty of ways to get that milk out of you and into a bottle for those emergency times when you just can't drag yourself away from the sale racks at Nordstrom's to care for your offspring. Same natural benefits, less whining from the hippie jerks who want one more reason to demonize everyone with sensibilities.
"Its natural and beautiful!"- Oh yes, quite natural. Just as natural as peeing and pooping and having sex and antelopes being eaten by cheetahs. But you wouldn't want any of that happening at the next table over at The Olive Garden.
"Jesus was breast fed!" - Yeah? Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus. How about you? No? Huh.. Women in Jesus's time were also stoned for adultery but that's "barbaric" now. Oh, and those women HAD NO CHOICE. It was feed your baby or let it starve. No bottles, no breast pumps, no storage systems with handy lines to put the date on. Let's leave the "but Jesus" comparisons out of arguments from now on unless you feel like converting to Judaism, covering your hair and staying home to cook and clean and bear children uncontrollably.
Why does this topic seem to be fought by upper middle class soccer moms with enough spare time to hop in their Suburbans and drive down to the mall for the afternoon. I don't think its so much they want the right to spend, what, 9 months feeding their kid in the most uncomfortable way possible for everyone but that they really need a hobby. Seriously, I get it. You went to college, got your liberal education, worked for a bit and now suddenly you are sitting at home with a wobbly little drool box and watching Baby Einstein videos all day while you slowly get too fat for your highschool cheerleading uniform. You're bored, restless, cut off. Sister, I feel your pain but please find something else to make you feel relevant.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Desmond Takes A Trolley To The Jeweller's Store
No lacy dress, no bouquet of flowers, no tiara, flower girl, veil or anything even slightly resembling a "real" wedding. But there was a shiny gold ring, my handsome son and the love of my life. It was perfect.:)
My Cat Ate Tuna Then Sneezed On Me
I regularly read a list website called 11points.com (because top 10 lists are for cowards)and, obviously, enjoy it a lot because I keep going back. This list made me giggle, like the others, until I got to this quote:
"Nothing makes the "Call of Duty" experience complete like having a jackass 14-year-old shouting "Jew fag towelhead darkie tits" into his XBox Live microphone for an hour straight while you're trying to make a legitimate battle strategy."
..and spit chewed up Oreo all over my desk. To be honest, the racial slurs just made me nod my head in agreement. Those gamers can be REALLY stupid. But the addition of "tits" was what really tickled me. Don't ask. You should know I've got issues already.
http://www.11points.com/Web-Tech/11_Deep_Questions_About_Judaism_From_the_Geniuses_at_Yahoo_Answers
"Nothing makes the "Call of Duty" experience complete like having a jackass 14-year-old shouting "Jew fag towelhead darkie tits" into his XBox Live microphone for an hour straight while you're trying to make a legitimate battle strategy."
..and spit chewed up Oreo all over my desk. To be honest, the racial slurs just made me nod my head in agreement. Those gamers can be REALLY stupid. But the addition of "tits" was what really tickled me. Don't ask. You should know I've got issues already.
http://www.11points.com/Web-Tech/11_Deep_Questions_About_Judaism_From_the_Geniuses_at_Yahoo_Answers
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